Crying

Crying (in honor of Shannon)

Every day I cry when I think of the hurt

Every day I cry when the lassitude’s of destruction

You have laid on my poor grieving heart

Come crashing down on my head

“It’s not you, it’s me” you said

It’s not me that broke up my world

Made it all come crashing down

That was you too

It wasn’t me that had to break up with my voicemail

That was you as well

All the time I’m stewing in my own head, crying

Looking at pictures of us, crying

Thinking about your family functions, crying

Driving to and from work, listening to pitifully sad love songs

Still crying every step of the way

I try to call you and you ignore my calls

You won’t let me have closure and end it like a grown up

So I have to sit here stuck in infancy

Trying to figure out how to do anything besides cry

I need to pick my heart up again

Restructure the pieces back into a solid figure

My heart is broken and I want to make it whole again

But I keep crying

I want to move, yet I keep crying

Stagnated by the way you left me in the dark

Holding and consoling myself, and still crying

"An Akili Carter original"