Confused

Confused
I usually look to my poems for solace and relief

What do I do now when I’m confused

Feel sad everyday like all my days are full of grief

Want to really shed some tears but need to be strong for me

I don’t even believe I have an answer to this question

Want to look to the stars and pray for direction

Well I never really prayed before

So I don’t want to be considered an opportunist

I’m not that selfish

I’m confused about the orientation of this compass

Trying to look for direction but my heart feels like a broken compass

Like I’m just tired of feeling tired

And being tired has me feeling like I should be more wired

I didn’t intend for this to be more then a few lines thrown together

Feel lost in my own head and heart like a lost child

Disconnected from my own feelings right now

Haven’t picked up the pen in about two weeks

Want to be strong, but being strong makes me feel weak

Makes my handles tremble from rejection

Meaning the words will be rejected by my heart

I'm confused and I don’t know where to start

"An Akili Carter original"